Cardinal George Pell named Time Magazine Coward of the Year

A great honour and responsibility.

Cardinal George Pell named Time Magazine Coward of the Year

23 April, 2016. 16:45

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

THOUGH TYPICALLY AWARDED AT the end of each year, the publishers of Time have announced the international coward of year eight months early.

The editor of the magazine was apparently¬†confident that the most cowardly thing that’s going to happen this year has already happened.

Cardinal George Pell, the leader of the Australian chapter of the Catholic church, outright refused to travel back Down Under to front a royal commission into child sexual abuse by Catholic priests. Blaming his ill health for not being able to travel, a team of world-class doctors and surgeons offered to escort the man during his transit back to Australia.

Instead, he agreed to give evidence via video link from the comfort of his Roman accommodations.

Last year’s winner, US dentist Walter Palmer, who infamously shot and killed a beloved Zimbabwean lion called Cecil, is said to be elated to pass on the baton of shame to somebody much more deserving.

Speaking today from his Minnesota dental practice, Palmer said it’s like a weight has been lifted off his chest.

“I mean, all I did was shoot a lion with a crossbow? This guy is protecting child abusers from the law. I’m fucking David Attenborough compared to this guy,” he said.

“Being the Time magazine Coward of the Year is a big responsibility, which I think Pell is going to embrace,”

“Good luck to him, but not really.”

We tried to contact the Cardinal for comment, but his staff asked us to fax our questions to him and he’ll get back to us.

More to come.

10 Responses to "Cardinal George Pell named Time Magazine Coward of the Year"

  1. Selkie22.7   April 24, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    OK you had to put the “c” word in front of his name to identify him, but the best I can spew out with reference to this rock spider is “Pell”.
    Kicked upstairs by the powers in the Catholic Church to get him out of the country, when it was clear that he was in the shit, he was never going to come back. It is now encumber on the Ausralian press to hound him if ever he disgraces our land further by returning.
    Yes, he is a coward, but more than that he is a vile person.
    For the Catholic Church the only things that matter are wealth and influence. As for people, they can all go and get rooted and Pell had a clergy of pederasts for that.

  2. Pat Garnet   April 26, 2016 at 10:08 am

    Can’t match Selkie22.7s comment. Sums pell up excellently.

  3. Geoff Ludowyk   April 26, 2016 at 5:33 pm

    This must be a spoof as I can’t find any record of this on the TIME website

    • Ted Green   August 6, 2016 at 7:19 am

      You think?

  4. Ed Wennink   April 27, 2016 at 8:03 am

    This ain’t much of an award if they awarded it to Walter Palmer last year!
    I’ll guarantee that the Time Magazine Coward Award nominators would not have the courage to face a lion armed only with a crossbow [.. albeit a lion well past his prime! ] like Palmer did… at huge expense to himself, and perfectly legally too!
    I think they should have awarded it to themselves instead, and take responsibility for the inevitable demise of lions in Zimbabwe caused by the media hype over “Cecil, the beloved lion”.
    The vilification they caused Palmer has resulted in all trophy hunters avoiding a lion hunt in Zimbabwe like the plague!
    “Good”, you say?
    Unfortunately, it is ONLY the money earned by the hunting of these animals that keeps them alive.. without it, they are slaughtered by the native farmers to protect their cattle, and poachers who have free rein without the hunter-financed rangers to protect them.
    Since the demise of “Cecil”, and the end of hunting, lion numbers in Zimbabwe have suffered a huge reduction. Well done!
    Oh, with Pell’s nomination, they may be back on track..

  5. Laura Henkel   April 27, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Hallelujah, amen, and jolly good show to that one. The one about Cardinal Pell receiving the COWARD of the year award. He truly deserves this great award. How well it will sit with him. Bravo.

  6. Peter Winton   April 28, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    Ed Wennick, you are full of misguided, idiotic bullshit.

    Selkie22.7 Bravo. You have put it well.
    Just one thing, Pell is the coward yes, but the Vatican has to share the award for protecting him. The Pope preaches but the church remains exactly the same.
    The Pope had an obligation to send Pell to Australia, instead he hid him in the Vatican. Shame!

  7. Nadia Najjar   May 14, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    This is why I am an atheist…!

  8. Alis Jacob   May 28, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    wow…. Time magazine such an everest of journalism…. it was… religion and trophy hunters aside is there a more urgent issues that could have been ‘exploited’ here like the raging assault on sovereign nations by the predators of the west, perhaps a mention of the men and women who applause the bombing of the westbank seated along the periphery of human disaster, maybe a line or two on the africa’s child exploitation by the chocolate corporations, and on and on….Our educators are pushing the ‘lie prams’ and are selling the debauchery of an innocent mind as an act of liberalism. Our technology is pushing humanity towards extinction and here we the Times magazine dishonours the puppets of the very system that is engulfing us all into oblivion….of our own cowardice

  9. Michael Ommundson   May 29, 2016 at 9:39 am

    Dubious assertion.


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