19 November, 2014. 11:56
ELLIS THOMPSON | UK Correspondent | firstname.lastname@example.org
As of two hours ago, the Accident and Emergency Unit in the Newcastle General Hospital have officially activated their quarantine unit for the first time in five years.
It can be confirmed by both hospital spokespeople and community leaders that the patient at the centre of today’s hysteria is a well-known entertainer and social media sensation, Chelsea Ferguson.
It is believed her primary employers, the iconic gentlemen’s club, ‘Blue Velvet’ – have also been told that all staff and patrons from the last two weeks must report to a hospital or medical centre as soon as possible.
Chelsea Ferguson, also known as ‘Sedgy Fergo’, is a famous adult entertainer who has found fame as a nude model and an international ‘strip club guest’ through her die-hard following on social media.
It is unknown at this stage what the virus may be but it is understood the hospital has been receiving thousands upon thousands of phone calls and emails in regards to the state of Ms Ferguson.
Shortly after the news was picked up by local BBC journalists, the hospital gave a press statement regarding the hysteria:
“What we have found is that many young men around the world feel a close bond to Ms Ferguson, it’s almost like they know her personally. When her consistent flow of nude photos and social media activity is put on hold – people want to firstly know who is responsible, and secondly, how long they have to wait until she is back online”
It is believed she may have been infected while performing a ‘private show’ for a group of international businessmen who were visiting Newcastle for a jewellery summit. The venue behind this alledged private show, Blue Velvet, has recently become an iconic destination for travelling businessmen and recently divorced locals after Ms Ferguson found fame as a ‘social media’ nude.
Staff at Newcastle General are working overtime to get Ms Ferguson back at work, as they worry her international fan-base could turn hostile if it takes any longer.
“The last thing we need is every single male in the world enquiring about our quarantine protocol, we are doing our best. Please be patient.”
There is not yet to be any comments from Ms Ferguson’s family or employers.