6 July, 2016. 13:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

IN A SIMPLE CASE OF old hippies and new-to-the-block yuppies not wanting major progress to take place in their neighbourhood, the Sydneysiders protesting the controversial WestConnex project have agreed to keep getting piss on their chinos until the bitter end.

Putting his art degree to the best use it’s ever had, Newtown art graduate Morris Penguin painted a series of signs that he and other protestors took to the Inner West Council meeting last night in Leichhardt.

The 47-year-old spoke to The Advocate this morning, via satellite.

“We set up a wind machine out the front of the council chambers and took turns standing in front of it,” he said.

“We stood in the wind and tried to piss into it all night. I got absolutely drenched in mine, and my fellow comrade’s urine while we shouted at the soundproof windows all night,”

“I even got some in my beard. I can still smell it. You can only imagine what it smells like on the street. I even had to throw the clothes out I wore last night. But we’re never going to stop pissing into the wind until WestConnex is defeated.”

However, local councillors and security staff were revolted by the bizarre spectacle.

At approximately 9pm, when the protestors began to piss all over themselves, paramedics and police were called and arrived ten minutes later.

“I thought they were having some sort of episode, that their mental health has taken a turn,” said council receptionist Glenda Walters.

“I could see them standing out in the street in front of a giant fan. Then they exposed themselves and begun doing horrible, ghastly things,”

“My husband had just arrived to pick me up after work, he was too afraid to get out of the car. The machine was blowing urine all over it. It was simply horrifying.”

Police and ambulance staff detained a number of perverts at the scene, but all were released without charge.

 

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here