The deadly Redfern bindi is spreading fast

Aside from a sharp and unpleasant sting, stepping on one of these bastards could kill you.

The deadly Redfern bindi is spreading fast

19 February, 2016. 15:45

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

THERE’S NO NEED TO BE alarmed, that’s the message from the NSW government as they battle to contain a potential outbreak of the often fatal Redfern bindi-eye.

Thought the be extinct since the early 2000’s, this latest environmental disaster has got officials worried.

Two years ago, a pleasant young man from Bellevue Hill became the last victim of the rare street plant. During a visit to the nearby Carriageworks, 22-year-old Sammy Clarkson stepped on a Redfern bindi, leaving him with a weeping wound and Hepatitis B.

Unlike its harmless cousin, the Soliva sessilis, this specific species is named Soliva Whiteleysis after artist Brett Whiteley Рwho tragically died after getting pricked by a Redfern bindi in 1992.

Local resident groups are up in arms over the discovery, saying that they didn’t pay good money to live somewhere rough.

“My husband and I made the conscious decision to wait until the state government cleaned the place out for the Olympics before we bought here,” said 48-year-old Takia Bohart.

“The other day, I caught a tramp pissing on my car and I’m 90% sure people have been shitting in our humble front garden,”

“My son sleeps in that front room.”

Shockingly, more and more bindis are ending up on the street because enthusiasts of the plant, a group known as “smackies”, have been getting people’s mailboxes confused with government sponsored sharps bins.

Health department officials know of at least one case where a resident put their hand into their mailbox, only to retrieve a bill from Telstra and HIV.

They’re one and the same, according to health groups, who’ve slammed the government for letting a low socio-economic area like Redfern wilt a suffer in the face of a public health crisis.

“Maybe if the Redfern bindi spread to Mike Baird’s neighbourhood. Maybe he’d do something about it.” said one overly militant middle-aged protester.

Hitting back at the cries of public safety, the NSW government today released a set of protocols that local residents should follow if they want to remain safe during this latest outbreak.

They suggest wearing closed shoes whenever you venture outside. Also, the government has urged the population to stick to the footpaths, as most of the bindis end up on the road, where they can only hurt cyclists.

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