Australian Men Happily Unaware Of How Offensive Their Rigs Are

Australians appear to be proud of the fact that most of their bodies don't look like oil paintings
Australians appear to be proud of the fact that most of their bodies don’t look like oil paintings


9 June, 2015. 12:30

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

While the ‘Dadbod’ craze has been presented as a sweeping “online” trend, inspired by the carelessly dreamy bodies of Jason Segel and Leonardo Dicaprio, vast numbers of international communities would argue that the glorification of “sloppy rigs” is not a new thing.

The faces of unkept masculinity. Leonarda Dicaprio and Jason Segel.
The faces of unkept masculinity. Leonardo DiCaprio and Jason Segel.

Around the world, there are thousands of notable communities that both worship and take pride in unkept male bodies: The Japanese Sumo, the American Cop, the Greek Uncle and last but not least… The Australian Tourist.

One well-travelled Australian male, is the spectacularly untidy Keegan Collingwood. He says it has never crossed his mind that some people might take offence to his hard-earned “wheat-bag”.

“Mate, I reckon they love it if anything. In those South-East Asian countries they come up and rub the rig. Kids, old folks, anyone. They f**kin’ love it mate”

“Not to mention Europe. The girls go mad for it… If I lose the lid in Mykonos, I can guarantee the cameras will be coming out,”

Keegan Collingwood shows off his beautiful figure on an equally beautiful Chinese landmark.
Keegan Collingwood shows off his beautiful figure on an equally beautiful Chinese landmark.

Keegan says that while he has a background in competitive athleticism – his recent six year sabbatical as a tourist means his he has had to sacrifice fitness to make room for more partying.

“I mean, if I’m not floating around the Mediterranean on yacht week – I’m on the beach in Cancun or Koh Phangan,” says the husky 26-year-old.

“I don’t mean to sound smug, but I really don’t have time to be doing one-armed push ups in a local boot-camp. I’ve only got one shot at this backpacker stuff and if that means I have to look like a 23-year-old Shane Warne, then so be it.”

“Warnie didn’t do so bad with the girls, did he?”

Australian cricketing icon, Shane Warne rocking his famous gold chain and dad bod in 1999. This man slept with a lot of women.
Australian cricketing icon, Shane Warne rocking his famous gold chain and dad bod in 1999. This man has slept with a lot of women.

Keegan would also argue that this behaviour isn’t exclusive to holidaying.

“Australia is a warm place mate. We are constantly rocking the banana hammocks.

As for Aussie tourists showing off their well-marbled torsos, Keegan isn’t alone, backpacker hostels across the globe confirmed to The Advocate that they too are graced with a yearly cycle of unashamed Australian males.

Keegan believes Australian men are even less likely to wear clothes when at home.
Keegan believes Australian men are even less likely to wear clothes when at home.

 
One particular hostel stated that the more timid international tourists often raise questions about the phenomenon.

Sarah Birmingham, an English expatriate based in Ibiza, currently runs the world-renowned backpacker hostel “Zone”. She says non-Australian tourists are puzzled by the boisterous half-naked men that come from Down Under.

“It’s not like they are fat, it’s just that most tourists that are that willing to get undressed usually have a bodybuilder physique,”

“It really comes down to the Australian males’ intake of beer – but the English and Canadians can’t understand how Australians keep on the extra weight, and at the same time they don’t seem to care about partying in Budgy Smugglers.”

Australians seem to enjoy wearing "budgy smugglers" regardless of the foreign climate.
Australians seem to enjoy wearing “Budgy Smugglers” regardless of the foreign climate.

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