12 January, 2016. 15:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
TEAMS SEARCHING FOR THE disappearance of MH370 have discovered Bill Shorten living in an underwater Gungan colony, ending the search mounted by his own party and journalists.
Despite recent events in Australian politics such as the scrapping of the Gonski recommendations and further announced cuts to health and foreign aid, Shorten has failed to make a polarising counter-argument, opting to hide out in this Gungan colony.
“My name isn’t Bill anymore, it’s Kushu Snu,” said Shorten. “Leave me alone. I’m happy now.”
Although Gungans were only thought to inhabit the underwater realm of Naboo, what search teams have uncovered is nothing short of remarkable. This discovery is one of many hundred Gungan embassies around the universe.
Shorten is quickly becoming fluent in their language and doesn’t regret trading his comcar for a bongo submarine, saying it’s powered by a natural plasma which makes it greener than anything else on the planet.
“I suppose I’ll come back to the surface one day,” said Shorten. “I don’t have to talk to anyone here.”