Report finds thermonuclear war may help ease pressure on housing affordability

Report finds thermonuclear war may help ease pressure on housing affordability

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A detailed report into the relationship between all-out nuclear war and the housing affordability crisis has been published by the Office of the Treasurer this morning, which outlined that the average price of a house may decrease if war breaks out.

Scott Morrison spoke to journalists today at the Betoota Press Club where he assured the area’s young people that he’s doing everything in his power to help them into their first house.

“Nuclear war would be good for housing affordability,” said Morrison.

“Chances are if all-out war engulfs the planet, a lot of Millennials and foreign investors will die. The housing market isn’ dissimilar to any other market. It’s supply and demand,”

“When the war is over and three-quarters of Australians Millennials have either been vapourised or are slowly dying from radiation¬†poisoning, it’ll be much easier to buy your first home.”

Mr Morrison’s sentiments were echoed by the Prime Minister, who told reporters in Canberra that should the situation between North Korea and the United States escalate to a boots-on-the-ground type scenario, Australia has a responsibility to follow the US into the conflict.

While he played down the probability of total war, Malcolm Turnbull said a contingency plan has been put in place.

“Publically-educated Millennials without tertiary¬†qualifications or family connections will be among the first to have the opportunity to serve their country,” said Turnbull.

“That should ease some pressure on the housing market and help the upper-middle-class into home ownership. However, the likelihood of that happening is very low, so I wouldn’t fret too much,”

“But you never know.”

More to come.

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