WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
For the first time in many years, majority of Australia’s married men and women will go to bed unbelievably content tonight, it has been confirmed
With the return of Gilmore Girls tonight, the series that captured the hearts and minds of women across the globe over ten years ago, Australia’s male population has been willingly granted free passes to indulge in a piss riddled Friday night, with no consequences.
“I can’t fucking believe it. I knew she loved this TV show, but she has told me “It’s fine, I can head out Friday and Saturday night” says Luke Roundtree, a 29-year-old tiler.
“She said it without even the slightest hint of sarcasm, I think she genuinely doesn’t mind if I eat 15 beers and come home in a state where shitting myself is a real possibility,” he explained in bewilderment.
Mr Roundtree’s girlfriend, Chelsea Lee, says she is genuinely so excited, that she just wants him out of the house while she settles in for the Friday night.
“I honestly don’t mind, I just don’t want him or his mates interrupting us”
“My friends and I will need 100% concentrating for this reunion episode. Depending how the night goes I won’t even mind if he jumps into my bed, smelling like a brewery, and tries to subtly massage my lower back with his dick,” she said.
Local publican Phil Ayers says that he has called all his casuals in for tonight as he expects huge numbers of blokes who have been given the go ahead to piss away a decent portion of their weekly wage.
Mr Roundtree says that while he has settled for the pub, there had been talks between his mates of a random Gold Coast trip to really let the hair down.