Local man only flies with Qantas because he doesn’t want to die

Because life is valuable.

Local man only flies with Qantas because he doesn’t want to die

12 June, 2016. 11:45

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

IN AN AGE WHERE flying is considered the safest method of transport, hundreds of people die every year from doing it.

However, in the opinion of one semi-retired Brisbane landscaper, there’s one airline that can almost guarantee that they won’t fly you into a mountainside.

Glenn Campbell agrees that when you fly with Qantas, the odds that you’ll end up upside down, on fire and dead are remarkably slim.

“I put a high value on my life,” said the 55-year-old.

“That’s why I fly with Qantas, because I don’t want to gamble with my life,”

“Flying with any other airline is as risky as taking an overnight bag full of drugs to Bali.”

While it’s slightly more expensive to fly with the nation’s flag carrier, it’s a price that many are prepared to pay for peace-of-mind.

Campbell says there’s still a feeling of theatre when you fly with Qantas – that it’s an event. Passengers often know how to use cutlery correctly and don’t wear thongs and swimwear on board.

“That’s why I’ll always fly with Qantas, they price the mouth-breathing bogans out of the market and won’t kill you. A perfect airline.”

6 Responses to "Local man only flies with Qantas because he doesn’t want to die"

  1. John Smith   June 13, 2016 at 2:30 am

    I just got off a Qantas flight from Melbourne to Dubai. My seat was broken and slammed back into the poor guy behind me when I tried to recline it. The sky view camera didn’t work nor did the maps. It took over an hour to clear away the trays after the meal service and when I complained I was told “sorry but it’s a full flight”. I have been on other airlines full flights and they still manage to clear the trays within 20 min… And some airlines now provide free or low cost airlines.

    Qantas is resting on its laurels while it’s competitors surge ahead with better equipped planes and better service.

  2. John Smith   June 13, 2016 at 2:33 am

    Oh I forgot to mention… even flying with the worst airlines is still safer than most other forms of transport. You are more likely to get hit by a car when crossing the road than die in a plane crash

  3. Veronica   June 13, 2016 at 7:32 am

    This is why only fly with Qantas too. It gives me peace of mind that I will reach my destination safely. I never have any worries or doubts.

  4. Geoffro   June 13, 2016 at 8:04 am

    Yeah. I wasnt aware. Gee qantas is good, isnt it.

  5. Flanaflasia   October 21, 2016 at 6:11 pm

    Someone’s seen Rain Man.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.