20 November, 2014. 12:39
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | firstname.lastname@example.org
BRITISH-BASED GAMING company Ladbrokes has been heavily criticised overnight after offering odds on which Australian personality will be the next to be caught up in a sex scandal.
The page was quickly taken down by gambling regulators and Ladbrokes says they’ve launched an internal investigation.
Initially, it was reported that Ladbrokes fell victim to a hacking raid but that rumour has since been quashed by CEO Peter Erskine who says the page was “produced and vetted by Ladbrokes staff and subsequently removed quickly thereafter”.
Twelve high profile Australians were named by Ladbrokes as being possibly involved in a sex scandal in the near future, with many of the named now seeking legal advice.
“The prime minister is considering his options,” says Abbott Chief-of-staff Peta Credlin.
“Mr Abbott is a beautifully powerful and handsome man and for his name to be painted this way is illegal.”
It’s been alleged that Ladbrokes deliberately targeted personalities who’s fame is beginning to wane – with name such as Lara Bingle and Stephen Bradbury added to the list.
Australia’s favourite speed ice skater has hit back, saying that he’s more successful than ever.
“I’ve been working on my own public speaking business,” says Stephen Bradbury.
“This is just plain insulting to me and my family,” he said.
“I’m getting legal advice over where I stand.’
Another shock inclusion to the list is Crocodile Dundee duo Paul Hogan and David Gulpilil.
Mr Gulpilil was unavailable for comment as nobody the Advocate spoke to knew where he was but Paul Hogan says he’s “flattered” but think’s he’s “well past it”.
“Maybe in my younger years, perhaps. But I’m old now and couldn’t really be fucked [laughs].”.
Last year, The Daily Telegraph revealed that Lara Bingle was unhappy with how her nude photo leaks had failed to positively impact her career.
Despite enlisting veteran publicity manager, Jessica Carrera, Bingle’s relevance has fallen to the wayside – prompting the Telegraph to report that the 27-year-old is considering releasing a sex tape.
The model denied that she was looking to release a sex tape but failed to rule out that it’d help her predicament.
Spiderbait drummer, Kram (born Mark Anthony Maher) says that he’d be fine with being involved in a sex romp.
“If this was still a thing, I’d put a big pile of money on myself then try to get caught walking out of a brothel or something,” says the drummer.
“But I don’t think Centrefolds in Wagga Wagga would be that pleased with the publicity – especially after what happened last time.”
Large bets were placed on Hugh Jackman early on, with one punter commenting that “no man can dance like that and keep his nose clean”.
Jackman has yet to reply to the Advocate’s requests for comment.
It’s unclear whether Ladbrokes will be liable at this stage but there’s no doubt that details will emerge in the following days.