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Leader of the opposition Bill Shorten is remaining tight-lipped over how long he knew that four, possibly more, members of his party could be ineligible for public office.

“One thing Labor is good at is digging up dirt” said Shorten.

“I mean, if the party can figure out what Sam Dastyari said to a Chinese bloke over dinner in Shanghai… Then surely we’d be able to find out the citizenship status of our own sitting officials”

“We nearly had the balance of power for a minute there, but Barnaby’s already back in”

“Fuck”

This comes after it was today revealed that nine federal politicians could be referred to the High Court over dual citizenship concerns – creating another wave of havoc for the current constitutional crisis being faced by Australia.

Josh Wilson, Susan Lamb David Feeney and Justine Keay are the current Labor MPs possibly being referred to the high court, with David Feeney looking like he’s especially fucked – with this news breaking just 18 months after Liberal preferences allowed him to defend his once strong labor seat of Batman by a whisker from the Greens

“How fucking hard is it?” says a frustrated Betoota swing voter by the name of Angela.

“These morons spend a whole year campaigning to get elected and don’t even suss out whether or not they inherited another passport from their folks”

 

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