11 June, 2016. 11:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
KEVIN GREENHOLM SAYS he should’ve walked out when his partner in crime started nearly sorting the chips by weight and colour and called a female croupier “a stupid cunt”.
That was when he was only $5000 in the hole.
The 59-year-old semi-retired geologist admits he should’ve known better, saying that he hatched the plan to take his autistic childhood friend to Jupiter’s Casino in order to count cards – something Hollywood has portrayed in blockbuster films such as Rainman and The Hangover.
However, the Gold Coast man discovered that his 58-year-old friend Mark McClean, who is mildly autistic, couldn’t count cards like they do in the movies.
“I haven’t told my wife yet. She’s going to cut my dick off,” said Kevin.
“How stupid of me. I should’ve known that autistic people don’t actually have super powers. Like to count cards and shit. I thought that came naturally to them,”
“It’s a complete disaster. Mark got so stressed out that he doesn’t want to leave the house. I’m in financial ruin and if I ever go back to Jupiter’s, they’ll drag me outside, put two through my head and throw me to the bull sharks,”
“It’s going to take a lot of Powderfinger and Power’s Gold to get over this one.”
Security swooped in on the duo shortly after Mark became visibly distressed when Kevin began touching the playing chips, saying they were his.
Prior to that incident, the pair were seen gambling heavily at a blackjack table, where Mark would keep telling Kevin to hit until he went bust.
Mark found Kevin’s outbursts each time he went bust hilarious, prompting him to keep going until they’d lost nearly $17 000 just ten minutes after first walking through the door.
Police were called to the scene at 9:45pm last night and the odd couple were detained for questioning at the scene but weren’t arrested or charged with a crime.