George Christensen MP rushed to hospital after accidentally ingesting Pad Thai

The Federal Member for Dawson will make a full recovery.

George Christensen MP rushed to hospital after accidentally ingesting Pad Thai

24 March, 2016. 17:39

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

KNOWN FOR HIS ASSOCIATION with the Reclaim Australia movement and his deep-seeded loathing of multiculturalism, the Federal Member for Dawson George Christensen was rushed to Mackay Base Hospital this afternoon as he accidently came in contact with a Thai dish.

The alarm was raised after the politician had ingested close to three kilograms of Pad Thai, which he initially thought was two-minute noodles with tinned crab meat stirred through.

It’s currently against their charter for any Reclaim Australia member to come into contact with ethnic food or use services provided by immigrants. Just last year, a RA member was beaten senseless with a dog chain and had his MiniDisk player jumped on after he was caught listening to Cat Stevens.

Crab meat two-minute noodles is a popular local delicacy served at pubs and clubs around North Queensland, with dishes like Chinese and Thai only being available at specialty restaurants that require a special permit from council.

Tragically, one of Christensen’s favourite watering holes in the sleepy reef town began serving Pad Thai under the name “chinky noodles”, leaving many of the local residents feeling sick.

The location of the Longneck & Paycheque Hotel in south Mackay PHOTO: GoogleMaps

“We’re considering legal against against the Longneck & Paycheque Hotel in south Mackay but for now, we’re concentrating on Mr Christensen’s recovery.”

Mackay Regional Council is voting soon to allow Dubbo-style Chinese food to be served in pubs around the area.

The western plains hub has put a unique spin on the international cuisine, with additions such as bacon bits to beef and black bean sauce and Chick-Sims – dim sim shaped like a sausage roll.


3 Responses to "George Christensen MP rushed to hospital after accidentally ingesting Pad Thai"

  1. RA Member   March 25, 2016 at 7:03 am

    It’s “MiniDisc”, you uncultured international communists.

  2. Anthony Abbott   March 25, 2016 at 7:05 am

    At this stage we cannot rule out that Professor Christensen’s poisoning wasn’t a deliberate terrorist attack by ISIS designed to destabilize the Abbott-Turnbull Government, of which George is obviously an integral part, and beloved member. I have directed George Brandis to formally request ASIO perform DNA analysis on the Pad Thai obtained from George Christensen’s gastric lavage to establish if it from the same batch of Syrian Pad Thai used in similar attacks, which Kevin Andrews and the AFP believe was illegally smuggled into Australia, by boat, via Christmas Island by Indonesian people smugglers, despite te fact we paid them specifically not to do this.

    As a leader of the Government I am very concerned this cowardly attack on one of Australia’s living Legends and one of the intellectual pillars of the conservative wing of my party may foreshadow further attacks on my supporters. I have ordered the Australian Secret Service immediately upgrade their protection of Cori Bernardi, Eric Abetz and Peta Credlin.

    Professor Christensen’s poisoning comes at an especially difficult time for my Government as it seeks a mandate to have me reinstated as PM. George has always been rock solid in his support for me and my policies. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and to his loved one, his dog “Darky” at this difficult time. Rest assured, George, when I am reinstated Australia’s rightful PM I will order a Royal Commission into this incident.

  3. Selkie22.7   March 25, 2016 at 9:03 am

    All the good citizens of Mackay will be down on their knees this Easter, praying for the speedy recovery of their larger than life local member. Of all Australian MPs surely he would be the most difficult to replace.
    I mean where in the hell, would you get another one like him, or better, where did they get him from in the first place. Queensland does have its idiosyncrasies, mostly enjoyed by the rest of the nation, but this one is off the planet.


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