George Christensen Calls For Royal Commission Into Why Sizzlers Keep Closing Down

"Why are Australians no longer indulging in this delectable high-carb past time? Is it because of halal certification? Has it got anything to do with the gays?"

George Christensen Calls For Royal Commission Into Why Sizzlers Keep Closing Down

30 March, 2016. 15:10

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

George Robert Christensen MP has today called for a Royal Commission into why Sizzler outlets keep closing down across Australia.

The rotund Member for Dawson has today announced that he can no longer remain silent over the fact that the nation’s favourite all-you-can-eat restaurant chain is disappearing in front of our very eyes.

“The $14 dollar salad bar and buffet special at Sizzler is as Australian as Toadfish Rebecchi’s goatee,”

“It is a very important part of Australian life and family unity… [heavy breathing] their delicious complimentary cheese toast needs to be protected,”

The company that owns the iconic Australian buffet outlet, Collins Foods, has announced they will continue to shut down under-performing Sizzler restaurants – after the struggling brand posted $10.4 million loss for 2015, compared to a $14 million profit the year before.

However, Christensen – who has already called for two different referendums in the last twelve months – says this isn’t good enough.

“We need to look at local council’s response to struggling Sizzler franchises. We need to look at the brand itself,”

“Why are Australians no longer indulging in this delectable high-carb past time? Is it because of halal certification? Has it got anything to do with the gays?”

The far-right National party representative has made headlines of late for his outspoken opposition to the Safer Schools program which is aimed at helping young LGBTI teens not hurt themselves. Christensen said talking about gay stuff only makes gay stuff okay.

“Gay people don’t need encouragement to be gay. They need to be told to stop being so gay around me”

More recently, the walking Lowes advertisement has also been ridiculed over his call for a separate state of North Queensland.

“If North Queensland is allowed to secede… I will be building a wall to keep out all the kale-eating gays and Muslims that have made life so hard for businesses like Sizzler,”

However, Townsville mayor Jenny Hills says she would walk backwards from Bourke if George Christensen has any say in how a North Queensland republic would be run.

“The bloke is from Mackay. It’s not even that North… He can get fucked for all I care,”

“His idea of North Queensland is not really what it’s like up here. He wants it to be like Texas with a bunch of fat gay-hating Christians sitting in buffets and complaining about Muslims,”

“He can call for as many Royal Commissions as he likes but no one is gonna listen to that fat prick.”

 

8 Responses to "George Christensen Calls For Royal Commission Into Why Sizzlers Keep Closing Down"

    • rbro   September 16, 2016 at 7:06 pm

      u mad lefty

      Reply
  1. Selkie22.7   April 1, 2016 at 7:32 am

    There is one thing that can be said about George and it is that he is a model of what young citizens of Queensland really do not want to be like.
    He has the charisma and appeal of a cane toad.

    Reply
    • oberonsghost   April 1, 2016 at 9:22 am

      On behalf of cane toads, I resent that remark!

      Reply
  2. Greg N   June 29, 2016 at 8:28 pm

    Lay off George. Snout in the Canberra trough is why he went there. Taxpayer funded lard ,and then taxpayer funded anti lard medical treatment. He reminds me of Mackay councils outdoor staff “Who can be the fattest and do the least work”

    Reply
  3. Brian   November 8, 2016 at 5:53 pm

    I wish people would stop assuming that the majority of voters in the Dawson Electorate willingly voted for George. On polling day, with a typical Mackay laid back attitude,(and most voters quite pissed by lunch time), many would have just thrown the dart at the list or felt that the name of George sounded familiar. The proof of my assumption lies in the fact that most of the letters to the editor in our local Daily Bladder blasting George for his outrageous comments seem to come from well known disheartened LNP Supporters.

    Reply
  4. RHA   December 1, 2016 at 4:35 pm

    I’ve been to a Sizzlers about 20 years ago and really enjoyed the experience. I too think it’s a sad day for this wonderful buffet chain to simply fade away.

    Reply
  5. Greg   December 1, 2016 at 7:28 pm

    At least he doesn’t bow down and cringe in fear from the looney, hand wringing pc sooks. He keeps getting voted back in.

    Reply

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