ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THE SNOWY MOUNTAINS HAS long been an exclusive enclave, only accessible to those who can afford to take a week of work and blow a few bucks.
For far too long, Australia’s ski fields have been prohibitively expensive to Australia’s hardest workers.
Lesley Stratton breaks shit up and throws it in a skip six days a week. He takes home a little over $600 a week. While he spends most of his money on gear, women and local beer – he wants the simpler things in life that Australia’s most wealthy take for granted, like skiing.
Today, the 26-year-old clipped on a pair of hire skis for the first time as he enjoyed a ski lesson on Thredbo’s Friday Flat.
“That magic carpet thing is a bit of a fuck,” he said. “What a cunt of an idea that is.”
It took Stratton three goes before he finally made it to the top of the learners conveyor belt. Then came the most challenging part, getting to the bottom of the hill alive.
“There’s a lot going on when you’re skiing. You’ve got these fucking poles tied to your wrists and you’re not allowed to smoke,” he said.
“I fell over a few times, the instructor said it was harder for adults to learn to ski. He’s not fucking wrong. It’s harder than it looks. I’ll sleep better tonight than if I’d won the Lotto,”
“I’m glad I’ve tried it, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Just haven’t been able to afford it. But, I’m worried that if I keep falling down, I’ll come to think that this is a cunt of an activity and these fucking skis and these bloody poles will end up in a creek and I’ll have my arse on a pub stool by sundown.”
And that’s exactly what happened.
Thredbo Ski Patrol was dispatched to retrieve a pair of rented skis, poles, gloves and a helmet from the roof of the Easy Does It chairlift at approximately 1pm this afternoon.
Mr Stratton was questioned by ski patrol over the incident at the nearby Library Bar within the Denman Hotel, where he threatened to flog one patrolman so hard “his head would bounce off the floorboards like a super ball and his brains would leak out of his ears”.
Stratton is no longer a person of interest in the investigation.