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The extended family of Paul Abernathy (77) say that they were stunned to hear their casually racist grandfather condemn the popular Queensland senator Pauline Hanson this morning.

“Jeez you know things are pretty messy when there is someone ‘too racist’ for our Pop” says grandson Michael (27).

“He’s usually the first to crack uncomfortable racist jokes and abuse offshore telemarketers… But I think he’s genuinely concerned about Hanson getting into the senate”

In the wake of a recent motion that has seen chiko roll frying expert Pauline Hanson demanding the mostly white Federal senate to admit that it’s ok to be white, pop has said the only one insinuating it’s not ok to be white Pauline.

Over breakfast this morning, Paul Abernathy’s usually jovial, grandfatherly manner was replaced by a much more sombre tone.

“This wild unit has the potential to truly fuck our country without a kiss” he said, ignoring the presence of his startled 11-year-old granddaughter, Poppy.

“She’s lost half her senators. Is she good for anything except putting on burkas and saying Nazi shit”

While he strongly detests extremists, Mr Abernathy says Hanson’s populist, undereducated core politics are ignoring the fact that Australia has progressed from the 1950s.

“Mate, who the fuck is she to ban halal certification? Who the fuck would we sell our beef to? Iceland?”

“How is she getting away with this shit? Leave the poor pricks alone I say. All they wanna do is set up a corner store and avoid getting shot”

5 COMMENTS

    • Mark, Paul Abernathy is my nan’s neighbour and my kids play with Poppy. I can confirm that Paul did say everything that was quoted. However, Clancy should have reported how much he hates redheads. He threw his shoe at one of my son’s friends once and he needed stitches.

  1. Doppelganger? Kim? too much!

    Anyway that grandfather was probably in the middle of his acupuncture, moxibustion & reflexology session, without which he may not even be here today.

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