4 July, 2016. 11:35
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
The extended family of Paul Abernathy (77) say that they were stunned to hear their casually racist grandfather condemn the popular Queensland senate candidate Pauline Hanson this morning.
“Jeez you know things are pretty messy when there is someone ‘too racist’ for our Pop” says grandson Michael (27).
“He’s usually the first to crack uncomfortable racist jokes and ask telemarketers where they are calling from… But I think he’s genuinely concerned about Hanson getting into the senate,”
In the wake of a chaotic election that has likely seen chiko roll frying expert Pauline Hanson securing at least one senate seat for her One Nation party in Queensland, the outspoken patriot said her first move would be to ban Muslim refugees and halal certification.
Over breakfast this morning, Paul Abernathy’s usually jovial, grandfatherly manner was replaced by a much more sombre tone.
“This wild bitch has the potential to truly fuck our country without a kiss” he said, ignoring the presence of his startled 11-year-old granddaughter, Poppy.
“They’re saying that there might be three of her mob in the senate. Are you fucking kidding me?”
While he strongly detests extremists, Mr Abernathy says Hanson’s populist, undereducated core politics are ignoring the fact that Australia has progressed from the 1950s.
“Mate, who the fuck is she to ban halal certification? Who the fuck would we sell our beef to? Iceland?”
“Muslims aren’t going to buy that shit if it isn’t halal, and we need them to buy that shit,”
“How is she getting away with this shit? Leave the poor brown pricks alone I say. All they wanna do is set up a corner store and avoid getting shot”
Mr Abernathy says that return of Pauline Hanson is a perfect example of Australia playing into the hands of terrorists.
“Remember when she was banging on about Asians in the 90s? How many Asians do you honestly reckon she had meet in Ipswich”
“… Then everyone started worrying about terrorism so she’s focused on these Mussies… She needs that mouth wired shut,”
“If there ends up being three One Nation candidates in the senate, well I’m sorry but ISIS has already won.”