Elderly Chinese woman nails parallel park first go

Lightning never strikes twice, unless you're a Channel 9 sound guy about to get run over by a Chinese pensioner.

Elderly Chinese woman nails parallel park first go

5 April, 2016. 15:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

THOUGH HER CAR SHOWS the signs of being in hundreds of fender-benders and small collisions, a 91-year-old Brisbane grandmother has stunned onlookers by reversing her car into a particularly tight spot, on her first attempt.

Guanyu Fu Wong or “Barbara” to her Australian bridge partners, spied the parking spot on Brunswick Street in New Farm opposite the bowls club this afternoon and flicked the blinker.

Sitting behind her in traffic, Wynnum roofer Glenn Richott thought he was in for a wait.

“I thought, ‘Fuck me, here we go!’ when I saw the reversing lights come on,” he said.

“It usually takes ages for a those old Asian drivers to park… But she fucken nailed it in one, mate. Hats off to the old duck.”

Two elderly witnesses from the nearby bowling club collapsed and went into shock after seeing Mrs. Wong reverse her car into the spot without even looking.

One was rushed to hospital in a serious but stable condition, the other was pronounced dead at the scene by doctors. An autopsy might be performed, but the deceased is really old so it might not be worth it.

Another tea-drinking bystander received first degree burns to her trachea after observing the tricky manoeuvre, as the whole ordeal caused her to gasp in the hot liquid.

Speaking this afternoon to the growing media scrum in New Farm Park, Barbara said she didn’t know what all the fuss was about, but remarked that she even surprised herself by parking first go.

“Most times I usually hit the kerb or the other car,” she said.

“Not this time. I slid in like a bum in a bucket. Get that up ya!”

When asked to repeat the feat, Mrs Wong gladly got behind the wheel again for the camera, however this time she lost control, jumped the kerb and ran over the leg of a Channel 9 sound man.

Network sports presenter and Grand Ayatollah of Brisbane, Wally Lewis was present during the incident and says his day was ruined by chaotic scenes. He later took Twitter to say he’s taking the rest of the day off to lie down and watch Origin highlights.

4 Responses to "Elderly Chinese woman nails parallel park first go"

  1. Selkie22.7   April 6, 2016 at 11:19 am

    I do not believe the first part of this story. I do believe the second part.

    Reply
  2. This isn't the onion   April 6, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Racism is funny. Always.

    Reply
  3. Neville   April 6, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    Must be easier from the left hand drive position.

    Reply

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