Early reports suggest Vernon Philander is being a bit of a sook

Early reports suggest Vernon Philander is being a bit of a sook

12 November, 2016. 11:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

SOUTH AFRICAN BOWLER Vernon Philander has arrived at Royal Hobart Hospital for scans after a nasty on-field collision with Australian captain Steven Smith.

Early reports from doctors have suggested that Philander may just be being a bit of a sook and there’s nothing wrong with him, however, there may be some deep tissue damage that’s historically prevented cricketers from playing.

Forced from the field shortly after the collision, Philander collapsed onto the pitch, holding his flank while he writhed in pain.

Although the incident seemed to be accidental, Cricket Australia hasn’t ruled out possible action against Smith, who’s played more than one game of rugby league.

The Crown Prince of Queensland, Gordon Tallis, has commended Smith on his shoulder charge, saying that it was textbook.

“Smudge could’ve folded Freddy Fitler like a deck chair with that hit,” said Tallis.

“I have no doubt that Philander’s got broken ribs.”

More to come.

EDIT: Philander has since returned to the field after doctors asked him to harden up.

2 Responses to "Early reports suggest Vernon Philander is being a bit of a sook"

  1. Pudenda Non Grata   November 14, 2016 at 10:39 am

    “sook”?

    What the fuck is a sook?

    Google tells me it is “a female crab”, but I don’t think that is what y’all meant. Nor do I think you meant, “souk”, an open-aired Arabic marketplace.

    Reply
  2. Pudenda Non Grata   November 14, 2016 at 10:44 am

    And it is Fittler, by the way.

    Did y’all have a “t” left over after writing that piece? You know, ’cause it’s Freddie Fittler. Innit?

    Reply

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