Dry Sex Is As Popular As Ever, Says Christian Teenagers

"The Bible doesn't say anything about French kissing and intense genital stimulation through a barrier of modest clothing, though,"

Dry Sex Is As Popular As Ever, Says Christian Teenagers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

DRY SEX. The sexual act made famous by teen comedy films in the 1980’s, is still very much the thing to do.

That’s according to a group of trendy Christian teenagers from South-East Brisbane, who say they are content with doing everything except “it”.

The Betoota Advocate spoke with Kelly, Kylie, Jack, Sarah and Ben – a group of senior Christian youth leaders from a South-Brisbane Hillsong congregation today.

They say they are confident that the idea of gyrating and thrusting your fully clothed body against the full clothed body of the opposite sex – is still very much “a thing” – amongst the consenting sixteen and seventeen-year-olds within their suburban youth centre.

“It’s like, you see more and more so-called Chrstians¬†who are cool with sex before marriage. People like Mylie Cyrus and Justin Bieber…”

“What a lot of people don’t realise is that dry sex is a perfectly normal way to consummate your love for the opposite sex, without losing your dignity and upsetting Him,”¬† Says Jack.

The group nod and agree with Jack’s sentiment while Kylie points out the fact that just about everyone in this specific group has, at one point, had dry sex with one another.

“Some people aren’t ready to commit to full ‘p in v’ because they know what usually comes with it… Pregnancy and a shotgun wedding,”

“The Bible doesn’t say anything about French kissing and intense genital stimulation through a barrier of modest clothing, though,”

“And let’s just say we capitalise on that scriptural loophole at our summer youth camps. Every… Single…Night”

When asked to discuss other alternatives to full-blown sexual intercourse, the group became quite shy.

Leading youth pastor, Ben told us that that is what is considered a “grey area”.

“The moment the underpants are taken off… It’s kind of hard to tell. There is a lot of different behaviours that exist between dry sex and real sex. Jesus didn’t really say much about blowjobs and sixety-nines” says Ben, as the girls in the group begin to blush.

“We just try and not talk about that stuff. Whatever you want to do behind closed doors… It’s up to you. Except for real sex,”

 

 

Dry sex is a popular sexual act, made famous by Christians

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