Pathetic Excuse For A Human Idly Watches His Girlfriend Change A Tyre

His mates are now calling him a 'massive shirt lifter'.

Pathetic Excuse For A Human Idly Watches His Girlfriend Change A Tyre

4 April, 2016. 12:23

INGRID DOULTON | Women’s Editor | Contact

JACQUES MACDOUGALL’S FRIENDS HAVE been calling him mean names all weekend.

One friend called him a “massive shirt-lifter” on his Facebook wall, another suggest that he was “the definition of a soft cock.”

The 24-year-old was returning to Brisbane from a family gathering near St George over the weekend when he got a flat tyre. What happened next gave his friends recourse to give him hell.

“I thought, ‘Fuck! What the hell am I going to do? I don’t know how to change a tyre!'” said the hospitality professional.

“But I didn’t want to ask anybody to help me because a man should know how to change a tyre.”

Thinking he was doomed to have a go himself, MacDougall took the spare tyre and jack out of the boot and skimmed through the instructions.

That’s when local farmhand Ellen Porter witnessed the simple Brisbanese cocktail bartender put the jack under his door and start pumping.

“I pulled over before he broke anything. I thought he’d be a tourist or something, but when he opened his mouth, I cringed a bit,” she said.

She was driving down the Barwon Highway when she saw Mr MacDougall trying to change the tyre about ten kilometres from Toombeh in South Central Queensland.

“He said he didn’t need any help, but I just told him to hand me the wrench before his dad had to get his credit card out to fix the door.”

Five awkward minutes past while Jacques stood sheepishly behind the 19-year-old local as she changed his tyre.

“Yeah, it was pretty bad. I definitely shouldn’t have ‘grammed it or added it to my Snapchat story. Now everybody knows I had to get a girl to change my tyre,”

But it seems that Ms Porter has a different recollection of what happened on the side of the highway that afternoon.

“I think he tried to give me his number. That was bad,” she said.

“He’s a nice enough bloke and I reckon he’d be harmless, but harmless blokes are a bit soft for my liking. If I ever see him again, I reckon I’ll just pretend I don’t know him, to be honest.”

 

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