30 March, 2016. 8:12
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
HE MIGHT BE ABLE to dance, he certainly knows how to jive – but Christopher Pyne is urging us all to take a chance on him.
Canberra’s own Fernando was outed this week by The Daily Mail as playing the role of “Benny” in an Adelaide-based ABBA tribute band, Abbadabbadoo. Something that’s not exactly against the rules or anything to be embarrassed about, it’s just a little bit strange.
Two years after publically labelling late musician Lou Reed a “transgressional smackhead” and declaring himself an “ABBA man”, Pyne has been fighting off rumours that he’s one of the four faces the tribute gang that graces the stages of local PCYCs and dance halls around the Torrens capital.
In the game of politics, the winner always takes it all, leaving many commentators, analysts and even his own parliamentary colleagues wondering how on Earth Pyne is going to dig himself out of this hole – now that he’s staring down the barrel of his own Waterloo.
“Yeah look. He’s a nice enough dude and we get on at work but yeah, wouldn’t go fishing with the bloke,” said one of his fellow frontbenchers.
“That night Hockey broke the marble table was a real humdinger. It was like the last days of Rome then some bright spark handed Pyne the aux cord. He put Mama Mia on, then he and Bronny got up on Tony’s desk and lip-synced the whole thing. I wanted to resign out of principle. You don’t do that on a prime minister’s desk.”
Surprisingly, the minister for industry and whatnot has chosen to uncharacteristically lash out at those who’ve given him a pizzling for doing something he loves.
“I’ve told them on many occasions that if they have a problem with me singing and dancing in my spare time, then I’d gladly meet them out in any one of the many parliamentary courtyards and put them to sleep,” said Pyne.
“My constituents have laid their love on me for decades now. I’m not worried, it’s not as if it’s a big secret. Anyway, I’m not the first member of parliament to sing ABBA in these halls. John Anderson used to scream ‘Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie a Tooheys after midnight’ whenever the Dragons got up. So fucking crass.”