Cardinal George Pell caught ‘showboating’ in Sydney stormwater after returning home from Vatican

Cardinal George Pell caught ‘showboating’ in Sydney stormwater after returning home from Vatican

April 21, 2015. 14:37

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

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Cardinal Pell says anybody who thinks he should get his feet wet like a ‘peasant’ should fuck off.

 

CARDINAL GEORGE PELL has been accused of abusing the power of Christ, after being caught walking on Sydney floodwater this morning.

This latest development comes as thousands of commuters struggle with the most significant storm event to hit the harbourside city in decades.

The Cardinal is back in Australia visiting family and friends, while taking time off from his Vatican duties.

A spokeswoman from the Catholic Church says that Cardinal Pell is “well within his right to exercise his ability on walk on water in times such as these”.

“While the Church doesn’t condone ‘showboating’, when the situation comes, a Cardinal is more than welcome to do miracles,” said the Catholic woman speaker.

“Last year, Cardinal Pell turned over a kilolitre of safe drinking water into wine for the homeless,”

“It’s the little things like that which don’t end up in the media.” she said.

After news broke of Pell’s water walking stunt, he attracted harsh criticism from both community leaders and fellow commuters.

One senior Sydney Muslim leader lashed out at the Cardinal this afternoon, saying that his actions were “selfish” and “religiously insensitive”.

“Jesus was the only Prophet from God that was given the ability to walk on water,” said the Cleric.

“It was unfair two thousand years ago and it’s still unfair now,”

“Cardinal Pell should know better than to flaunt his water-walking talent in front of the public – it’s not a good look for Catholicism.”

Criticism has also come from within the Catholic Church, in particular, the more progressive and youth orientated Eastern Sydney diocese.

Father Stan Cantwell confesses he has two loves in his life - Christ and his 32-year-old parter Ezekiel.
Father Stan Cantwell confesses he has two loves in his life – Christ and his 32-year-old parter Ezekiel.

 

Father Stan Cantwell, who is also captain coach of the controversial homosexual Catholic soccer team “The Bi-Curia-s”, says that examples of Pell abusing his power like this have no place in the church.

“Pell, like that tacky burgundy church carpet, has overstayed their welcome,” said Father Cantwell.

“He’s just not that popular with traditional Aussie rock-choppers anymore – part of the reason he fled to Italy,”

“I bloody think he should stay there and practice the old, archaic and draconian Catholicism – and leave us alone.”

However, Pell was quick to jump down the throat of anybody who dared tell him how to live his life – stating categorically that nobody, not even the Governor-General can tell him what to do.

“No comment. Now go away.” he said.

With additional reporting from mX and The International Herald Tribune. 

 

 

3 Responses to "Cardinal George Pell caught ‘showboating’ in Sydney stormwater after returning home from Vatican"

    • Beef Wellington   April 22, 2015 at 1:13 am

      Who would the Vatican pay tax too? Countries don’t pay taxes to themselves.

      Reply
  1. bungerx2   April 21, 2015 at 7:01 pm

    I wouldn’t drop me KFC coleslaw to save such if I saw him being swept down a stormy.

    Reply

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