Bathurst police begin charging tasers as sea of V8 Supercar fans spew into town

"If this was the Daytona 500, we'd just shoot the blokes and ask questions later," he explained.

Bathurst police begin charging tasers as sea of V8 Supercar fans spew into town

6 October, 2016. 11:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

CONSTABLE MICHAEL DUXWORTH SAYS that while there’s no greater thrill shooting somebody in the buttocks with a Glock 17, using a taser to transform an aggressive Falcon enthusiast into a wheezing, writhing¬†mass kicking around in the bulldust is still pretty awesome.

If you’ve ever been hit with one of those 21-inch extendable batons, you’ll know that there simply is no substitute. However, Bathurst police have upgraded from the shockingly painful bully club to the standard issue taser – a device that’s made a name for itself in the petty drunken lout community.

Just last year, Constable Duxworth had to settle a physical argument between two race fans with his ASP extendable baton, which he used to flog the pair about the head with. While the Nissan fan dropped to the dirt immediately and swallowed his tongue, the Holden supporter proved to be a handful.

“He had a gutful of Jim Beam and he simply wouldn’t stay down,” explained Duxworth.

“Despite my repeated attempts to give his brain a factory reset with my baton, I kept missing – only scoring glancing blows. After I bashed his right ear off, he panicked and fished around at his feet for it. When he was bent over, I was able to deliver a blow directly onto his brainstem, which finally knocked him out.”

Little wonder why the NSW Police Deputy Commission gave the green light to a taser initiative, which sees every police officer in Bathurst being given an electronic weapon for the week.

A recent study has found that watching people get tasered his hilarious. PHOTO: Supplied.
A recent study has found that watching people get tasered his hilarious. PHOTO: Supplied.

The deputy commissioner agrees that “it’s all about risk mitigation and personal safety” – and that everybody should be allowed to enjoy the race in peace without witnessing people being flogged half to death with batons.

“Bathurst is usually a sleepy little hamlet, only the odd student stealing garden hose is the most serious matter the police have to deal with. That’s why there’s no tasers there, aside from race week that is,” explained the deputy commissioner.

“It’s much more humane and entertaining to see somebody get tasered. One minute their antagonising a police officer, the next, they’re face-down in the dirt flopping around like a carp on a riverbank. Hilarious and safe,”

“However, we hope that everybody behaves and the only carnage we see happens on the track.”

 

2 Responses to "Bathurst police begin charging tasers as sea of V8 Supercar fans spew into town"

  1. Dave   October 7, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    When the police kill people by tasing them, what usually happens is that they have given the victim a number of bursts of electricity a few seconds apart. That’s what kills ’em. I hope that Australian police are better trained.

    Reply

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