Barnaby Joyce Eats Entire Schooner Glass In Tamworth Hotel

Barnaby Joyce Eats Entire Schooner Glass In Tamworth Hotel

25 May, 2015. 14:34

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

In what many political analysts are calling a pre-election media stunt, Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has been photographed eating an entire glass schooner while having lunch at the Freemasons Hotel in Tamworth today.

Witnesses gasped as the New England MP began to casually take bites out of his beer glass while watching the pub’s television.

“It was like he wasn’t even thinking about it. He was swallowing it and everything” says Jenny Carmody, an elderly tourist that happened to be sitting several tables away.

“He was transfixed on the TV above the bar. It was an old re-run of Pirates Of The Carribbean… The Deputy Prime Minister just turned red and began chomping away at the schooner.”

Joyce’s long-running feud with actor Johnny Depp has re-ignited overnight, with the Hollywood star saying Barnaby Joyce looks like he was “inbred with a tomato” while appearing as a guest on American television. Friends of Mr Joyce says this ongoing battle of egos might explain why he ate an entire schooner glass at the pub today.

Kai Baker, another patron who was playing the pub’s only poker machine at the other end of the room, recalls hearing the sound of teeth and shattered glass grinding together before turning around to see the Minister for Agriculture with blood trickling down his chin.

“You could see it in his eyes. He was having some dark thoughts,”

“He was watching Captain Jack Sparrow fucking around on the TV and I just knew he was fantasising about having ten minutes with Johnny Depp in this pub.”

“There would’ve be a lot more blood if that was the case. Fuckkk he was in a state… Just ropeable,” and have been quick to criticise the Deputy PM’s shameless attempts at winning over Tamworth voters with “desperate party tricks” – but the hotel’s publican, Stan Koster (77) claims to have seen Mr Joyce “do a couple schooners like that” over the years.

“You can see that he spent a bit of time in Dirranbandi (Far West QLD)”

“That kind of behaviour is pretty much play-on in the scrub. Poor bugger doesn’t even know he’s doing it half the time,”

The Betoota Advocate was present last time our Deputy Prime Minister ate a glass schooner in front of cameras, if you would like to see a video, go here.