Baby Boomer fondly recalls a time when he was only afraid of Catholics

Baby Boomer fondly recalls a time when he was only afraid of Catholics

25 October, 2016. 10:45

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

IT WAS 1968 AND OUR boys were trudging through the jungles of South East Asia, looking to shoot themselves a couple Charlies.

The Easybeats were climbing their way up the charts and the controlling Protestant class still had their healthy scepticism of the Roman Catholics serfs – a time before the horrors of true multiculturalism had a chance to grip the nation.

Fifty years later, Reginald Collander still looks back on his halcyon days with great memories.

“I remember when my parents used to warn me about the Catholics,” he said. “We used to steer clear of them and their pagan Jesus bullshit.”

The 69-year-old retired property investor says that was the golden era of Australia, when we’d survived the shocking events of World War II – and we had the immigrant workforce to help modernise the country.

“You see, those immigrants actually worked. They also contributed to the economy. Nowadays, you have all these bastards sending their money back to fund terrorism and Sharia law. That’s a lot Gough, you jibbering old communist,” explained Collander.

“Today, Catholics and Protestants can walk hand-in-hand down the street. They can even marry, though frowned upon still. Why, if you’re heart desires, you could even try your hand at courting a Methodist or perhaps even a Baptist if you’re into that sort of freaky shit,”

“Now that all the years of hedonism are catching up with me, I wish that we could go back to that time when the biggest problem for a young WASP like me was trying to keep my reproductive organ away from rock choppers!” he explained.

Mr Collander has ignored advice from his Bangladeshi-born cardiologist and still enjoys a Peter Stuyvesant over lunch, washed down with a heart Shiraz. Preferably by the waterfront.

More to come.