21 January, 2016. 11:30
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
AS BRITAIN comes to terms with the fact that the future of their country is now in the hands of their xenophobic elderly voters, the Australian government today announced that nearly 50 000 temporary protection visas will be granted to UK residents fleeing violent weather and a poor quality of life.
While the British government are seemingly keen to kick wage earning Australians out of the UK, on the home front, more and more British workers are making the move to Australia, seeking something that money can’t buy.
Sun, fresh air and a happy-go-lucky lifestyle – complete with a lower cost of living, high wages and contact sport and the freedom of travel.
This controversial policy adjustment by British Home Secretary, Theresa May, has been met with unbridled backlash from human rights groups and the parliamentary opposition, as the financial benefits befitted to the British economy by low-income non-EU workers serves as the backbone of many industries.
However, what many Australians are failing to understand about this situation is that it means that the changes, which take effect from April, will mean Australians will have to earn at least £35,000 annually to be allowed to live in Britain for longer than six years.
Oddly enough, the Australian government has sided with the incumbent British parliament over this issue, saying that if an Australian wants to live in the UK for longer than six years, they’ve got fucking rocks in their head.
“Look, I know it’s a bit of a rite-of-passage for British and Australian youth to visit each other’s countries. That’s not in jeopardy,” said PM Malcolm Turnbull.
“The Australians who stand to lose out on this new policy are the ones who think it’s OK to work in a Clapham pub for a decade. If you’re planning on doing that, don’t.”