Sydney Roosters fans chuffed to learn they’re no longer the shittest team in the NRL

Eels fans are now super cut.

Sydney Roosters fans chuffed to learn they’re no longer the shittest team in the NRL

4 May, 2016. 9:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

DESPITE THEIR MANAGEMENT STAFF and accountants trying to inform them where they stand after last night’s federal budget, the players at the Sydney Roosters are pleased to know that they’re no longer the shittest team in the National Rugby League.

That honour now rests with the Parramatta Eels, who were given one of the stiffest punishments in the competition’s history after they were found guilty of salary cap breaches that may soon include the New South Wales Police and the Australian Tax Office.

The fans are also over the moon, with thousands of Roosters die-hard taking to the street overnight.

Scenes around the club’s Bondi Junction headquarters were chaotic, with a kind-hearted builder from Lightning Ridge being placed under arrest for setting fire to his grandmother’s car he was borrowing.

Speaking this morning with a sore head and a positive outlook on life, 27-year-old radio advertising sales executive Jonch Talearche says he blacked out someone after his seventh skim piccolo.

“I’d just like to say a big fuck you to Parramatta, we’re better than you dogs,” said Talearche.

“The Roosters can still win the comp, brah. We just gotta get our heads down and work hard. We the Leicester City dogs now, cuz.”

However, nearly every independent rugby league commentator in the country has all but written off the chooks, saying they’re the Knights of Sydney.

Using his column today in The Brisbane Times, former great Gordon Tallis said any team can win this year’s final – except for the Sydney Roosters.

“The Sidney [sic] Rosters [sic] arent’ [sic] in they [sic] positon [sic] to win now,” he wrote.

“Broncoes [sic] will win becorse [sic] they have lost les [sic] games than the Sidney [sic] Rosters [sic]. Simple.”

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