ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
DESPITE RETIRING A DECADE AGO, highlights of the on-field exploits of Australia’s original golden boy are now being used to cure erectile dysfunction in selected clinics.
The controversial programme is being rolled out across the country after medical trials far exceeded expectations.
The relationship between watching Shane Warne pitch it up against England and NRBs, or No Reason Boners, has been the subject of extensive medical research for almost four years. Results have been very promising.
Ned Gamble has a dreadful diet, almost no daily exercise and smokes more than 40 menthol cigarettes a day. However, he agrees that none of his lifestyle decisions are to blame for his appalling virility.
As an apprentice panel beater, he inhales God knows what every day, which also has an effect on the 23-year-old’s health.
“Yeah mate, the missus was blowing up at me all the time about it,” he said.
“She said she got a better ride on the bus to work and that’d she’d bin me if I didn’t get the pipes cleaned out,”
“So I took part in this trial where I just had to watch 15 minutes of Warney landing a few in the rough, watching him sneak in a cheeky flipper. The wrong’un videos worked best for me,” he said.
The programme has the option of finding some other good areas, with the possible inclusion of Stuart MacGill’s highlights and the very real prospect of having a few highlights of Adam Gilchrist going ham at the WACA.
For more information, please contact your local sexual health clinic.