Sandpapergate: Cricket Australia Slams English Cricket Fans For Engaging In Hilarious Banter

Sandpapergate: Cricket Australia Slams English Cricket Fans For Engaging In Hilarious Banter

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Cricket Australia has lashed out at some English cricket fans who thought it was acceptable to engage in banter during last night’s clash against the Australians in London.

The first one-day match was marred by a PR stunt orchestrated by a start-up company which attempted to distribute thousands of sandpaper signs for fans to hold up.

That’s unacceptable, according to the peak cricketing body and many old hands of the game who now exist on social media.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this morning, Cricket Australia CEO James Sutherland said he was disappointed that English fans have lowered themselves to this.

“We could’ve done without the banter,” he said.

“Albeit quite funny banter. But you have to remember these actions have consequences. Four blokes have had their worlds turned upside down. Arguably the greatest cricket this country has produced since Ricky Ponting is currently playing cricket in Canada,”

“Fucking Canada of all places. Anyway, I was disappointed to see that some English fans have stooped to such a low level. They should take a look at themselves in the mirror. They’re not exactly saints, either.”

The Advocate‘s sports editor, Imran Gashkori, is currently on assignment in London, the worst city in Europe.

Imran spoke to reporters at the Daroo Street offices today via wireless telephone.

“Look, it’s pretty funny,” he said.

“I reckon it’s all in the spirit of the game. The Balmy Army had some ripper songs. It’s just a bit of banter and it’s banter we deserve for attempting to tamper the ball with fucking sandpaper. It’s tit-for-tat,”

“Just imagine if these filthy, smelly poms got caught doing the same thing at the MCG on Boxing Day. We’d be throwing cups of piss at them as they walked off the field. It’d be hilarious. I say bring it on. We have to beat these droopy-eyed soap dodgers on and off the field. Res ipsa loquitur, let the good times roll.”

More to come.

 

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