Nation Dedicates Roughly 26 Seconds Of Thought To Tomic’s Withdrawal From Rio

Nation Dedicates Roughly 26 Seconds Of Thought To Tomic’s Withdrawal From Rio

14 May, 2016 14:45



Experts agree that much like Nick Kyrgios, Australian tennis person Bernard Tomic was probably not smacked as a child.

The entire tennis community has berated Bernard Tomic today for his decision to forgo representing Australia at the Rio Olympics in favour of playing an obscure ATP Tour event in Mexico.

Instead of going to Brazil in August, the 23-year-old will compete in Los Cabos, Mexico, defending a title he won last year.

While this decision has riled up the young Australian tennis prospects who would die for the opportunity to go to Rio, the greater Australian population has dedicated just less than half a minute thinking about the career choices of the self-entitled Gold Coast underachiever.

Local punter, Will Goodsen, says he “thought that cunt had died”.

“Why am I still hearing about this prick?” said the 45-year-old bricklayer from Taree.

“He hasn’t won enough games to act like such a fuckwit. Same goes for Kyrgios, they love people talking about them, but don’t give us any good reason to,”

“Win some games and maybe we’ll give a fuck about you lippy little eurocunts”

Tomic’s selection in the Australian team was already surrounded by question marks after he deliberately gave up a match point at a tournament in Madrid and said he didn’t care because he was worth $10 million.

Since he burst onto the scene late last decade, Tomic’s career has been a rollercoaster of medium-sized highs and extremely low national cringes. He has said for the eighth time since Australia learnt his name, that he will become a top 10 player over the next year, but so far, all he is known for is being a “flashy little cunt and a perennial loser who’s dad headbutts all his training partners”.

This is the end of this story. Stop thinking about it.

Similar stories:

Local Tennis Prodigy Not Enough Of A Fuckwit To Represent Australia

Experts Confirm Nick Kyrgios Was Not Smacked As A Child

Kyrgios Vows To Debut Even Shitter Haircut Against Murray




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