10 August, 2016. 14:45
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
The late great, Supreme leader Kim Jong Ill’s seemingly unbeatable tally of Gold from 1988-2004 was pipped by Phelps today, with the North Korean leader’s son vowing to take back the crown.
Korean state media report the dictator (age Unknown) is a surprise inclusion in a number of events in Rio despite still being in Pyongyang on Wednesday morning.
“My father was proud of that record, my country is proud of that record”
“I will take back that record in one Olympics. It will be restored to North Korea by the end of this fortnight.”
It is believed that Kim Jung-Un has been nominated in over thirty upcoming Olympic events as he dashes to ensure that his family and country’s pride is restored.
North Korean media believes his biggest challenge is expected to be the Steeplechase, but are confident he will once again attain Gold in pole vaulting and the men’s rowing eights – of which he is expected to row an eight man scull completely by himself.
Kim Jong-Un says he will begin his campaign with 4 x 100m track and pool relays (competing in all 4 legs for each).
“I am prepared. I am ready to return our family honour. For our nation.”
“The North Will Rise Again”.
The North Korean journalist who initially reported that Michael Phelps now holds the world record for gold medals has since been executed.