Bogut Informs Disinterested Dallas Teammates About How Good The Coffee Is In ‘Melbs’

Bogut Informs Disinterested Dallas Teammates About How Good The Coffee Is In ‘Melbs’


Andrew Bogut is having a hard time making friends at his new team, the Dallas Mavericks.

However, it’s not his basketball that has his new team mates turned off.

“Melbourne was voted most livable city in Australia – again” says Bogut. “I just really want the boys to understand what a great city it is. It’s so much better than Dallas – and Sydney”.

Bogut’s opinion isn’t out of the ordinary. Recent studies have found that people from Melbourne suffer from a similar disorder to vegans and crossfitters, which sees them sharing their unsolicited opinion aggressively with anyone in earshot. Given Bogut was raised in the Victorian capital, most Australian’s expect would expect this.

Bogut’s team mates, however, aren’t as used to the Pro-Melbourne opinion as Australians who don’t call the city home. “He’s been hassling us with this shit for the last four weeks” said one Dallas team mate. “None of us even know what a Melbourne is and nobody asks him either. If he thinks Melbourne is the best then that’s fine – just stop talking about it”.

Bogut says other cities have plenty to offer, but they just can’t stack up to Melbourne’s culture. “Like, Sydney’s beaches are a bit better than St Kilda, I’ll give them that. “But we have such a better scene down in Melbourne – like it’s so eclectic. Dallas doesn’t even have laneway bars”

“I just want them to admit that it’s a better city. Seriously, it is”.

2 Responses to "Bogut Informs Disinterested Dallas Teammates About How Good The Coffee Is In ‘Melbs’"

  1. Soy McIatto   December 13, 2016 at 10:08 pm

    This article is bullshit. You’ve got six or seven quotes from Bogut and not once does he mention how much better the FOOD and SHOPPING is in Melbourne.

    There’s no way this is true. After all, the WORLD RECORD is 5 sentences!! Guiness has it recorded as occurring during the ill-fated Sydney to Hobart of 1998 when a sailor from Melbourne gave 5 separate distress calls for help without mentioning Melbourne’s food or shopping. His run ended when they broke out some freeze-dried food in the life raft.

    Either Bogut isn’t really from Melbourne or the journo fell asleep during his Melbournian monologue and just made up the quotes. Either way, poor form Beetoota Advocate!!


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