ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A popular local builder has been mocked and humiliated by an uppity barista at a trendy cafe in Betoota’s French Quarter this afternoon for ordering an ‘expresso’.
Gregory Murchison, the self-described ‘coffeeologist’ at Le Pisse Dans Ma Poche, said he enjoys it when someone wearing hi-vis comes into his trendy French-inspired eatery and ignorantly orders something by mangling the pronunciation.
“It’s actually ‘espresso’, mate,” said Murchison to Walter Pinochet, owner operator of Dundee Builders.
“There’s no ‘x’ in it, you big simple dope! If you’re looking for the International Roast, try going to ALDI next time. This place is for coffee lovers and folk who appreciate French culture.”
And with that, Pinochet shrugged and walked out of the cafe to a chorus of chortling chinless left-wing sympathisers.
He spoke briefly to our reporters just down the road who was locked in a heated confrontation with a parking ranger and a sticky-beak cyclist.
“Oi those blokes up the road in that Italian joint laughed at me because of how I ordered coffee,” said Murchison as he helped our reporter choke out the irate cyclist.
“They’re such wankers but shit I’m tired. They told me to get some instant coffee, which I’d rather but I’m not about to buy a big tin of it just for one coffee,”
“This place is fucked. There are more yuppies here than shearers. I mean, I just put a 60-year-old man in lyrca to sleep in the middle of the street and put him in the recovery position. This place has changed.”
More to come.