Tight-Knit Office Team Go On Pretending They Haven’t All Slept With Each Other

Tight-Knit Office Team Go On Pretending They Haven’t All Slept With Each Other

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact

Though most of the town’s small brewing community know, the sales and accounts team down at Betoota United Breweries have gone on another day pretending like they haven’t all slept with each other before.

Queensland sales manager, Sandra Stevens, has confided in The Advocate this afternoon saying that by living under the illusion that she’s never gone all the way with two of the three men in her department is better for everyone involved.

“That and I know Tom, the PNG sale rep, has probably slept with every woman who’s been through the front arches of the brewery. He’s the biggest slut I’ve ever met. Yuck! Let’s not go there. Anyway, we just go on pretending like we’ve never done it with one another. Even if you asked me, I couldn’t really draw it out. But yeah, I reckon if you put all six of us on a sheet of paper and drew in the connections,”

“It’d look like a mighty fine spider web. That’s for sure.”

When asked whether she thinks it’s either beneficial or detrimental to the office productivity and work environment, Stevens said she was impartial.

She explained to our reporter that it’s not as if they’re living like it’s the last days of Rome down at Betoota United, it’s simply the ease and proximately the team are to vast amounts of basically free alcohol.

“You could walk into any pub and club around here and you’d see the same thing,”

“Honestly, it is what it is. It’s easier to just go on and act like it never happened. It’s not like we’re hurting anyone. If you catch feelings, you can always ride it out until it inevitably goes to shit and somebody has to resign. Tell me that ain’t living?”

More to come.

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