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“I paid for express postage,” she said.

“Where is my jacket? I ordered and paid for it on Thursday and it still says it’s in Melbourne? Next working day my arse!”

Jenny Gilmour is pissed off.

The 24-year-old wants the Gorman jacket, currently sitting motionless in an Australia Post depot on the northern fringe of the Yarra Republic, by today but at this point – it’s not looking good.

Where she was planning on wearing it, only God and Jenny know.

“I’ve refreshed the tracking information like a million times and it hasn’t changed at all. What’s the go?”

The go is, according to a representative from the national postage service, is that the parcel’s speed at which his moves are dictated directly by how much one refreshes a tracking number.

Now that nobody is allowed to leave their home unless it’s to provide care, shop for essentials, go to work or visit a beach, Australia Post has come under a considerable amount of pressure as online shopping has gone through the roof.

Speaking candidly to The Advocate, the postal worker said they can see who’s been refreshing the most and prioritise them accordingly.

“It can make your parcel arrive up to 20% faster,” they said.

“Our software can keep track of who’s most keen to get their online shopping. Rather than let them wait in pain, we make a special effort to get them their package quickly,”

“So the message is from us here at Australia Post is to keep mashing refresh.”

More to come.

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