25 June, 2014. 12:14

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

  • The man was drinking at the Betoota Hotel
  • Said to have consumed over sixteen standard drinks
  • In the moments after buying the pheromone wipe, he instantly became “fuckable” says woman.

A VISIBLY INTOXICATED local man says he had intercourse with a transient woman after purchasing a pheromone wipe from a hotel restroom.

Witnesses say the man left the licensed premises with the woman at 2:45am EDST and was not seen again until the next morning.

“My mates have been shouting my name in funny voices and slapping me on the back all morning,” says the man.

“But yeah. It was good. I really gave it to her,”

“She took everything I threw at her. I even bottomed out a few times and it didn’t worry her,” he said.

The woman at the centre of the controversial hook-up says that she was drawn to the man, who she hadn’t previously met.

“He said “Hello” like he was going to put me through a wall,” says the woman.

“I don’t know what it was. But as soon as he wiped those pheromones on his neck and wrist, It sparked an animalistic fire inside me… knew I had to shag him… it wasn’t out of charity either,”

“He’s a shithouse dancer, a bit of an asshole and he kept interrupting me – so there’s no other reason why slept with him other than the Wipe On Sex Appeal.

As Australia’s leading pheromone whip, Wipe On Sex Appeal says pheromones are chemicals that send out subconscious scent signals to the opposite sex that naturally trigger attraction.

As their website claims, when a person “receives” the chemical-hormonal signals, they automatically, instinctively respond – without even realising what is drawing them to you.

The two have confirmed that they will not be seeing one another again.

 

7 COMMENTS

  1. This story’s bullshit.
    I’ve tried Wipe On Sex Appeal wipes and they’re a waste of money.
    I dipped out severely one night up The Cross. I was dripping with the shit and couldn’t pull a single ganga.
    Had a gut full of piss and passed out part way on the walk home after copping a massage by a bloke called Rodger on Oxford street.
    Friggin thing was so relaxing I fell asleep.
    Woke up in a park the next morning with a fucking Dachshund humping my leg, a sore arse and twenty bucks in my pocket.
    That was enough for me, pulled the pin and went back home to Picton

  2. I started wiping/cleaning my phone screen using these. My tinder matches instantly increased by a statistically significant amount.

    Kind regards,
    Tom

  3. Further reports have indicated that “Wipe On Sex Appeal” only attracts very ugly & obese women unable to achieve success with non-users of this product.

    The woman in question was described as a “Ugly Hippopotamus” by both male & female witness’s. “Wipe On Sex Appeal” appeared to alter the memory of the man in question making him believe the woman was extremely beautiful, in addition to he also believes his mates think he is a “Fucken Awesome Cunt” when they now hold him with utter contempt & derision.

    Several attractive females at the premises prior to his leaving with the “Hippo Mole” commented that as soon as he came out they felt utter repulsive from the subject “Fuck me this creepy cunt stinks like dog shit”.

  4. Shagging saves me from having to get into an awkward conversation I don’t know how to otherwise get out of. Right girls !

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