Man Celebrates Feeling Normal Again After Weekend By Just Having A Few

Man Celebrates Feeling Normal Again After Weekend By Just Having A Few

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Many of Greg Manitoba’s friend told The Advocate that the 28-year-old puts the ‘fun’ in ‘functioning alcoholic’ – a loveable label the local bridge and wharf carpenter has enjoyed since finishing university.

Known well around the Old City district’s nightspots and day-drinking watering holes, Greg often gives it a red-hot-crack over the weekend before slithering back into himself like a wounded snail’s eye come Monday.

“But now I’m feeling normal again,” he said.

“So I’m celebrating by injecting a few cold, cold Betoota Bitters into me right now. Not too many as to feel disorientated in the morning, but enough keep my hands steady and mind running smooth,”

“Ah well, here’s to feeling good again.”

Though he laughed off suggestion that he’s in serious danger of slipping down the backside of the bell curve into the life-destroying abyss that is an alcohol addiction, Greg said he’s in control and just out to have a good time with his friends down at his local.

However, many of the locals at Greg’s local, The Gorilla Couldren on Summit Avenue, told The Advocate that having one day off a heavy alcohol binge each week often constitutes an alcoholic.

“Yeah, oi,” said one punter.

“Greg’s always down here of an afternoon, drinking and whatnot,”

“But just let the man live. He’s just having a beer, he’s not got a baby on his lap or anything. Jesus Kay Ka-Rist! Mondays are hard enough without a harem of reporters down here hounding him about his beering.”

More to come.

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