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Rob Denton, a 63-year-old married man, has today claimed that his wife of 40 years, Camilla, did the first mannequin challenge over 20 years ago, and “doesn’t think it’s anything to write home about.”
“I’ve seen this ‘Mannequin challenge’ thing all over Facebook,” began Denton,
“And it took me straight back to the 1990s – not long after the wife and I had just had our third and final child.”
Denton, who admitted he only recently joined the social network as a way of keeping tabs on his now adult children who never call, said unfortunately he doesn’t have video proof of originating the meme, as his wife would never allow it.
“Way back in the mid-80s when camcorders and VHS tapes were starting to take off, I proposed the idea of, you know, keeping a record of our bedroom activities… but she was never really up for it.”
“And as things have slowed down in the hanky panky department, so has Camilla’s desire to get into things in any way, shape or form,” he lamented, before adding, “Stiff as a board”.
“She always asking for more slap and tickle, but I think it’s just like anything around the house. She doesn’t necessarily enjoy the lawn being mowed, she likes to see me mow the fucking thing when I’m hungover”
“Just like she likes to see me huff and puff in the sack. She may as well light up a cigarette while I’m at it”
Betoota reached out to Camilla for comment, who said, quite matter-of-factly, “Perhaps my husband would be better of with an actual mannequin for wife, as no real person can pretend to ignore how out of shape he’s gotten.