Local father ring barks the family avocado tree to spite his stay-at-home son

Local father ring barks the family avocado tree to spite his stay-at-home son

19 May, 2017. 10:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A grown man living at home with his parents has had his easy and free access to avocados cut off my his father, who ring-barked the family avocado tree to spite him.

Citing the aggressive and expensive rental market in Betoota’s trendy Old City District, Stephen Poltergeist a local youngtrepreneur, said he wouldn’t be able to afford to move out of home and enjoy the same standard of living he does with his parents.

But that comes at a cost to his parents, who say they’re sick to death of having the 26-year-old living under their roof.

“You should see the cunt,” said father Miles Poltergeist.

“He gets out of bed at 10, picks an avocado off the tree in the back yard and fucks around on his phone until lunch then maybe, maybe he might think about doing something. I’ve had enough. So I ringbarked the avocado tree to spite the layabout prick,”

“I love him, that’s why I had to kill the tree. So he’d have to buy his own and move out. I’ve tried charging him for rent but his mother ups me for being too hard on him. He was fucking two years old when I was his age!”

Hitting back at his father, Stephen said that killing the avocado tree was a bit drastic and childish.

“Dad’s been reading The Australian again I see,” he said.

“They said the youth’s penchant for avocados is keeping them out of the property market, so I guess he put two and two together,”

“He’s got quite a large property portfolio as it is, perhaps I should encourage him to keep smoking?”

More to come.

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