Highway Patrolman Cuts The Small Talk And Just Says He Pulled You Over For Speeding

Highway Patrolman Cuts The Small Talk And Just Says He Pulled You Over For Speeding

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

According to a recent survey, most conversations with police on the shoulder of a highway start with the eternal question:

“Do you know why I pulled you over today?”

The answer is invariably the same around the country.

“Ah perhaps because of the speed, sir?”

And the answer to that rhetorical question is always:

“Yes. I’ve clocked you today at 193kph in a 110kph zone. At this moment sir, you are under arrest for dangerous driving.”

However, one overly polite highway patrolman from the Diamantina Highway Patrol [DHP] has broken with protocol recently and cut the small talk from the interactions he has with local hoons.

Constable Walter Marlow has been walking up to the open windows of speedsters he’s caught and replaced the aforementioned eternal question with out of his own.

“Are you eyes fucking painted on, cunt?” Constable Marlow would ask.

Nine times out of ten, he doesn’t get a verbal response – just an agape mouth and a dumb look on the face of the driver.

“Because I’ve just clocked you at about a fifth of the speed of sound in a hundred zone! Get out of the fucking car and give me your licence, you fucking lunatic.”

A number of complaints have been filed with the DHP, where they’ve ended up on Superintendent Sam Green’s desk.

He spoke to The Advocate a short time ago about his foul-mouthed Constable.

“I reckon it’s good,” he said.

“No more dick pulling and open-ended questions. Just straight to it. No wasted breath,”

“He’s not being reprimanded so if there’s nothing else you want to talk about, then this interview is over.”

More to come.

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