Ageing Laptop Mercifully Euthanised For The Third Time Today

Ageing Laptop Mercifully Euthanised For The Third Time Today

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Affectionately known as ‘Tracey the Toshiba’ by those close to her, a local laptop has been tragically put to sleep for the third time today by her owner after freezing yet again.

Frowning and sighing from behind his lecture desk, Mark Dengue gently held down Tracey’s power button until she drifted off into the next word after she repeatedly failed to open Microsoft Word.

The popular blue computer first had the plastic peeled off her screen in 2009, back when The Black Eyed Peas were in the charts and Typhoon Ketsana hit the Philippines, China, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and Thailand, causing 700 fatalities.

In her day, Tracey could run with the best of them.

“She was a giant killer back then,” said Mark, who’s somehow resisted the urge to fold Tracey’s screen backwards onto herself.

“But now, now she’s getting tired. I feel she might be at the end of her used by date. I think it might be time to hoik Tracey into the creek and get something new, something with a bit more grunt,”

“I’m only an Arts student, so I don’t need anything vaguely useful because I don’t plan on doing anything vaguely useful with my degree. I was thinking about flexirenting a Mac?”

As for the meantime, Mark plans to nurse Tracey through the last of his summer school classes before hopefully putting her out of her misery in the new year.

More to come.

 

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