Even these hardened country rugby heroes admit ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears is a fucking track

"It makes me feel like getting busy," he explained.

Even these hardened country rugby heroes admit ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears is a fucking track

26 October, 2016. 23:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

EVEN THOUGH HE JUST RECEIVED a life ban from every licensed establishment in Quilpie, bar Billy’s Nyngan-style Chinese Eatery, Matthew Lilac says he has no regrets.

His auburn-haired partner in crime, Myles Penile, doesn’t have any either.

Despite being amongst the most feared private school boarders in the greater Betoota region, the pair both agree that ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears is a fucking track – and they’re not ashamed to admit it.

The centre-pairing from the Betoota Rugby Union Football Club, known locally as the Betoota BMWs, are a force to be reckoned with on and off the field, as they cared to explain to The Advocate this morning.

“I once hit a bloke in the forehead so hard, it broke my hand,” explained Penile. “But I still played the rest of the season because I didn’t want to let the team down.”

Lilac was a bit more blunt, stating categorically that if one doesn’t like Toxic and doing ‘shoeys’ after a win should take a long cold bath.

“Anyone who thinks Toxic isn’t a track better keep away from me, otherwise you might get some stitches in your face!” shouted Lilac.

“Just fucking listen to the lyrics, cunt. It’s catchy as hell, too. It does things to me.”

 

5 Responses to "Even these hardened country rugby heroes admit ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears is a fucking track"

  1. Ribbons   October 31, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    I know people exactly like this, who do indeed find Toxic a fucking track. Any other love of Brit Spears from a fellow footy player will be met with intense ‘you’re a fucking fag’ coming from a guy who quite likely posts ads online like ‘I’m straight, not a fag, but looking to suck cock. All the better if you want to do it to Toxic.’

    Reply
  2. Pudenda Non Grata   November 5, 2016 at 10:07 pm

    Dearest Ribbons,

    “…….Any….love of Brit Spears from a fellow footy player will be met with intense ‘you’re a fucking fag’…….”

    Not here in the Canadas! The love of Ms. Britney Spears is totally butch! In Canada it’s If you don’t like unicorns you’re a fag.

    http://sterculianrhetoric.blogspot.ca/2016/11/nephew-not-fag.html

    Reply
  3. Robo   November 10, 2016 at 11:37 pm

    What the hell do you mean by ‘fucking track’?. Fucking what track?. Is this the sort of shit my taxes paid for helping educate clowns like you or are you targeting some weird-demographic dropkicks who can’t use normal language like poor over-60 bastards such as myself were taught to use?.

    Reply
  4. No Shrubs   November 17, 2016 at 7:48 am

    Robo you sick cunt

    Reply

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