Conservative father collapses shortly after learning son has septum-pierced girlfriend

Conservative father collapses shortly after learning son has septum-pierced girlfriend

PETER HORRACE | Local News | Contact

A Birdsville father of four has been flown to Adelaide after he collapsed late last night after learning that his ‘future Wallaby’ is currently seeing a marginally employed Betoota waitress with a septum-piercing.

Morris Davidson, a semi-retired small business owner, was re-watching his favourite episode of Sky News’ Bolt Report when wife Gwendolyn came in with the iPad to show him a few ‘happy snaps’ son Jason had posted to Facebook with his new flame.

Joy and unbridled happiness quickly turned to fear and shame for the 67-year-old as he put his service station glasses on to see that Jason’s live-in girlfriend, Kaspi-Anne Seigh, has a septum piercing.

“He just started groaning and tried to get himself off the sofa to start pacing around the living room,” said Gwendolyn.

“Morry’s speech was slurred and he seemed off balance, then he collapsed down the stairs and started writhing around as if he’d been possessed by Penny Wong or equivalent,”

“It was horrible, I phoned for the flying doctor right away but was turning blue and stopped responding to his name. We haven’t heard from the doctors down in Adelaide. It doesn’t look good.”

This is a developing story.

More to come.

 

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