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In an unprecedented twist to the evening, the chicken dish has actually received rave reviews.

At a local fundraiser for the Betoota Small Business Network’s non-perishables for Africa drive, guests approached the set menu with justified sceptisism.

As the vegetarian meals made their way to the diet-requirement guests, a large majority of the 200-people plus patronage begin to barter.

“If I end up with the chicken, do you wanna swap?” one moron asks his girlfriend.

“I’m feeling like the beef”

As the meals come out one by one it becomes quickly clear that the chicken has a pretty good sauce or something on it, and some relatively bigger vegies, whereas the beef actually looks like it might have been a pre-prepared stew.

“I saw that chicken land in front of me and my heart stopped” said one guest, Nick.

“I saw it coming minutes before hand when the guy directly in front of me got beef, so I did the math and realised I was going to get chicken. Every odd number gets chicken”

Lucky for Nick, however, the chicken was by far the best option out of the two, not that there were any options.

“No one wanted to swap, but I kind of shut up when I saw the size. It had a couple inches on the beef in circumference – and it smelt delicious”

“The beef option looked like an RSL wet lunch”

With the jugs of beer flowing to tables, it’s only a matter of time until the bloated guests discover they have been drinking midstrength beer all night.

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