Ticket Inspectors Admit They Only Show Up The One Day You Decide To Fucking Risk It

Ticket Inspectors Admit They Only Show Up The One Day You Decide To Fucking Risk It

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A local spokesperson from the Chartered Union Network of Ticket Survelliance (CUNTS) have today admitted that ticket inspectors actually work towards only being on the train when you don’t want them to.

CUNTS spokesman Willie Stroker says that the commonly accepted theory that ticket inspectors only work on the one day of the fucking year where you have avoided paying for a ticket, by either accident or intentionally.

“We aim to be vigilant and stealth-like” said Mr Stroker.

“Which is why we aim to only appear when you expect us least”

Mr Stroker also pointed out that whether a commuter usually pays for fares is completely irrelevant and that in their eyes, you are no better than a common criminal.

“Whether you are evading the fare on purpose or by accident is not anything that interests us”

“You are a criminal and will be fined equivalent to a week’s rent for it” he said.

However, local fare evader Tom Robbins, says you don’t need to be Einstein to trick these universally hated public servants.

“For one, they can’t restrain you… I don’t think”

“And two, they can’t speak French”

“I just start rattling off random French jibberish and the pricks give up on me”

“If that doesn’t work I pretend to take a phone call and aggressively walk past them”

 

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