24 November, 2014 15:38
DARRYL SEYMOUR | Entertainment and Gossip Guru | firstname.lastname@example.org
WRITERS from the AMC zombie-action television series, The Walking Dead, have today confirmed a surprise addition to the cast in the way of a “new black lead character with an attitude” – to replace the void left by the last three black male leads who were killed off one after another.
The series’ developer, Frank Darabont has come out publicly today and confirmed that this role will be filled by New York based rapper turned actor, Method Man.
“It’s not like there aren’t black males in the cast, I mean it’s set in the South and there are obviously heaps and heaps of black guys down there. It’s just that we casted most of the blacks as Zombies. As far as non-Zombies go, we already have one consistent black guy (Tyrese)… but he’s a bit soft. We need a new brash, angry black male lead. One that we can kill off before the season 5 finale”
When asked if he was concerned that his character’s demise was already written, and could be killed off in no more than three episodes, Method Man stated it was the last of his concerns.
“Shit, I [don’t] care. I got my money right. I already done what no notable black actor has been able to do… Didn’t you see me in The Wire? I got through four seasons without being killed off. They let me stay till the last episode for God’s sake! As long as I can get a little bit of screen time with my own improvised gangsta shit, then I’m finna (sic) sign the dotted line”
Method Man’s character, due to make his first appearance in episode 8 of the current season, will go by the name of “Cold Killah” a street thug-turned-sharpshooter who has spent his post-apocalypse life living in the Georgian treetops. Speaking to the Advocate today, Method Man could not contain his excitement.
“I’m down with it, a vine-swingin’ jungle n**ga. Not too different to that shit I lived as a baby. Except we were shooting at cops, not these undead motherf**kers”
After being questioned about the racial discussions that keep arising amongst audience members and television critics, lead writer Robert Kirkman was very blunt about the shows direction.
“It’s quite obvious that our audiences have more of an affinity to ‘white people drama’ – hence why there is no need for a consistent black lead. We’ve kept Tyrese for a couple seasons now, but he’s not an important character so it’s not worth killing him off. “Cold Killah” will give our audiences the kick they need to dedicate their lives to another season. We are already planning his death in the finale.”
“As we have seen with the recent race-tensions in this country, Americans love seeing angry black men being killed by an uncontrollable force that they can neither intimidate or defeat. Why should our fictional universe be any different?”