Small-Town Loser Gains Confidence By Growing A Mad Beard

DARRYL SEYMOUR | Gossip Guru | Contact

A bloke you kind of knew in high school, and haven’t had much to do with since, has grown an edgy chin strap – confirms Facebook.

The bloke says he now feels confident enough to make eye contact with girls – thanks to a daring yet revolutionary style of beard.

Dayne Greenacre, 29,  has been using a “chin curtain beard” discreetly for days now to give the illusion of a definable jawline or chin.

Dayne Greenacre says he feels like he is "killing it" with his new style of facial hair
Dayne Greenacre says he feels like he is “killing it” with his new style of facial hair

The chin curtain or chinstrap is a distant cousin of the neck-beard – a style of facial hair that was pioneered by ABC journalists in the late 1970’s.

“Make no mistake about it, the Chin Curtain drapes the jawline and chin with hair,” said Mr Greenacre.

“However, its purpose isn’t to conceal said areas, but rather, to define and accentuate them,”

“With this look, you’ve got nothing to hide,” he said.

However, not everyone feels the same way.

“It looks ridiculous,” said Acting Constable Grant Clarke of the local Police.

“Saw him pull in to town this morning with a dirty big grin on his face,”

“Then I saw it. Me and Bill bloody near doubled over and died from laughter,” he said.

The hottest chick in your old town, Sylvia Stevens, has gone on record this afternoon and stated that Mr Greenacre is “a really nice guy” and “so funny” but “doesn’t feel comfortable with him staring at her all the time”.

Sylvia says Dayne's newfound confidence makes her feel uncomfortable
Sylvia says Dayne’s newfound confidence makes her feel uncomfortable

 

 

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