CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Following the hysteria generated by both News.com.au, The Daily Telegraph and Channel 9’s Today Show about the politically correct trying to steal Christmas from honest hard-working Australians by creating a gender neutral equivalent for Santa Claus, it is believed the lefty outrage police are today taking it one further.
Even after learning that the original story of ‘Person Christmas’ had come from a prank by the British lad magazine, UniLad, the mainstream media and populist conservative politicians remain outraged by the concept.
However, local graphic designer and wildly vocal Inner-Melbourne Councillor, leftie Noah Planns says he and his fellow inner-city PC brigade are harnessing the outrage caused by the gender fluid Christmas figure, and are now trying to change heaps of traditions by making Santa celebration-fluid as well.
Today, he and the rest of Brunswick Council are proposing renaming Father Christmas to ‘Person End-Of-Year Holiday’.
“Santa shouldn’t belong strictly to the Judeo-Christian cultures, it should be celebration neutral as well, so that all kids can enjoy him” said Plann.
“It’s not fair that some kids get to enjoy the traditions of their ancestors and some don’t have these same cultural traditions”
“Also Santa should be sexually fluid as well as gender fluid. Mrs Claus? What the fuck is that?”
“This end of year holiday tradition isn’t just about bringing joy to children, its about maintaining the patriarchal structures from last century”
“Brunswick is the only region in Australia that is willing to waste time debating this issue with Herald Sun readers”
Where has Ron Muppet gone?
@tedward
Dear Sir,
As a Western Australian charged with conveying the unquestionable wisdom of Ron Muppet to lazy and deviant GST stealers, I can inform you that Ron suffered a period of prolonged censorship from person or persons unknown on this site early in 2017 when the pearls that he enthusiastically and cheerfully strew before swine were summarily denied publication. Being a practical man, Ron simply assumed that somebody had got a bit miffed that the spontaneous riffing that he was doing had upset people unused to having to print comments that were funnier than the original article that they were appended to, and had simply cracked it and pulled their pants down in a temper. Easterners can be a bit like that. Ron merely shrugged, took it on the chin, went droving instead, and I can happily report that he has had a joyful time in the period since discharging muskets at any suspected Easterners he came across, yarning with his Mussulman co-workers over a roaring camp fire and a pouch or two of a highly toxic tobacco substitute, and dabbled in the occasional scapegoating of any Chinaman unfortunate to be in the vicinity when circumstances went tits-up – all whilst still evading the forces of darkness determined to bring their own skewed version of civilisation to the Colony.
If anyone at the Advocate ever wants Ron back to enlighten and infuriate the readership, they have my e-mail address. They can always ask.
Regards,
Ron Muppet