NSW Government To Build Even Bigger Stadium In Suburb That’s Even Harder To Get To

NSW Government To Build Even Bigger Stadium In Suburb That’s Even Harder To Get To

NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian is reportedly experience her ‘greyhound moment’ as the tide of public opinion and party support turns on her plan to completely rebuild two fully functional stadium.

After months of widespread dismay in and out of Parliament – and in and out of her own party, the Berejiklian Government has spent the last given up attempting to explain and justify a $2.5 billion plan to pointlessly tear down and then  the Sydney Football and Homebush stadiums.

Since December numbers of the remaining Baird-loyal, evangelical state ministers and backbenchers have been privately telling journalists just how opposed their constituents are to having contractors with ties to the NSW Liberal party being given billions of tax dollars to revamp horrifically located sports grounds.

“It will kill us,” said one.

“It’s political poison,” offered another.

After much deliberation, and a small amount of compromise, Premier Berejiklian has today declared her plans to meet the whingeing tax-payers and, fiscally aware colleagues, halfway.

“How bout a completley new one in Brighton-Le-Sands” she said, in reference to the random suburb jammed between the international airport and several weird bodies of water.

Also known simply as Brighton or Brighton Beach, Brighton-Le-Sands, is a suburb in southern Sydney. It is located 13 kilometres south-west of the Sydney central business district, on the western shore of Botany Bay and is absolutely not accessible by public transport from anywhere else in the city unless you want to get like three buses.

“It will be perfect” said Berejiklian.

“Come on. Work with me here. I have close friends with concrete trucks ready to start laying slabs and I’ve promised them some love”

“If you agree to this I’ll agree to allow Lebanese people to own and operate businesses in Kings Cross again”

“C’mon. You want to go dancing?”

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